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Fake Food Gone Wild

So I was making this display today trying to get people to enter our annual bake off and realized the fake food was too risque to put out there, because I couldn't stop laughing at it.



And then I put some other stuff out there, and small children proceeded to come up and throw it on the floor. Which I guess is pretty much what I expected.




Here is how I handled the boobiness of the fake chocolate ice cream. I made a pedestal for one out of a coffee can. And I removed the cherries.

The black forest cake is a spray-painted colander with cotton balls and pom poms.


This is a plastic tub (I put them in the sink for washing dishes. A dishtub? I must be high on glue and spraypaint fumes. Can't remember words.) The frosting is yarn and pom poms.

My colleagues are jealous when my job gets this blatantly fun. "Man. I'm working on a budget and you're making a pretend cake." And I hate to say it, but weird stuff like this was the type of stuff I did in college. My Master's is in Fiber Art.

Take a minute to think about that. Fiber Art. (WTF kind of job did I ever think I would get? Oh yeah, art professor. Too bad I never figured out how to schmooze.)

So anyway. Me. Usin' my mad hot glue gun skillz. And making obscene fake food.

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( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS???

*cough*


byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC)
and where do I have to go to get a masters in fiber art?? oO For that I'd go back to school just for the fun.
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
I got it at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. I think they call it something different now, though. MFA in Studio -- and then one of the departments would sponsor you.

Fiber was kinda like sculpture and assemblage for people who weren't testosterone-laden pricks. (Those people actually entered the sculpture department.) (Watch a Sculpture MFA be reading this.) (Sorry.)

My BFA was in ceramics but I developed skin allergies that made me think twice about pursuing it further. And I was afraid of blowing up the big gas kilns.
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
I have a local artist friend who's going there next fall!! (My spinning teacher, actually) SO. Exciting. She's amazing and she's so, so proud to get in there. I can't wait to read her updates.
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
I'll bet it costs eight bajillion dollars to get that degree nowadays. It was insanely expensive in the early 90's when I got mine.

But it was the top art school in the country (according to Newsweek) for MFA at the time. So that should mean something.

A lot of the women in my department were a little older (like the age I am now) which was possibly why I didn't assimilate very well. I was a punk-ass 22 year old.
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
SCARY amount of money. Plus, international student. She's my age, which is your age, so maybe that helps. :D She's well versed in funding grant writing, that seems to help -- she's been supporting herself as an artist for years, working at the craft school here, selling her art, working for the arts council etc. I have hopes she'll do great and come back triumphant and happy.


God, I hope.
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
It would be scary to go back to school now, though. I think when we're 22 we don't really understand how much that eight bajillion dollar loan will amount to. And we're more willing to pick ourselves up and plunk ourselves down in another part of the country -- or another country, in your friend's case.

I kinda did it to get out from under my mom's roof, truth be told. And of course I thought I'd be some big-time artist by now.

I see Joan Livingstone is still in Fiber (now called Fiber and Material Studies, I see. After enduring so many jokes about metamucil and regularity.) She taught the class I took my freshman year called 3-D, and we all razzed her love of the hot glue gun.

I was lovin' Joan today. I learned a skill back in 1986, and today, all my colleagues were envious. Hah.

I also see one of the women from my class is now an instructor. Hmph.
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
glue guns are a gift from the universe. This is a fact.

The nerve of some classmates. :-|

(Man, that would be so cool, though. Especially if I could do it for the experience and learning and not have to pay for it. I swear, I'm going to move to some fantastic magical universe where I can just do art and learn stuff and not worry about petty things like food or clothing my children. )
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
She's amazing and she's so, so proud to get in there.

And she should be. Only 10% of the applicants get into that MFA program. It's highly competitive.
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
It must not have ever come up....

How does one shoehorn that into conversation? Unless one is showing off the boobs fake ice cream she made at her day job.
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC)
Oh, sure, if we're not making it all about ME. ;-) I need to post more about weaving, clearly. :D
jordan_c_price
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
I wish I had done more fiber dyeing. Or any at all, come to think about it. Embroidery/embellishment was my specialty.
byrne
Jan. 15th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
I'm doing some dying, lots of spinning and weaving -- I just got a tapestry loom I'm trying to figure out -- and a ton of sewing. I want to start bleaching fabric and doing some designing and stuffed doll sculpting. You know. In all my free time.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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