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Safety First?

I originally posted this in my PsyCop Blog, but I'm curious about how the writers on my f'list approach it in contemporary stories:

I’m working on the PsyCop short in progress, and I ground to a halt wondering about safe sex. We know that in a real world, our characters would (or at least should) be having safe sex. I guess I did address it in Criss Cross by saying that Vic and Jacob have both been tested, they trust each other to be monogamous, and that’s that–they’re not going to use condoms.

Crash is another story, though. If he’s getting as much action as I think he is, I think he’d be doing it safely. And yet I have him pouncing on a total stranger in Many Happy Returns and giving the guy a blow job without a condom.

I know oral’s significantly less risky than anal sex, particularly if your partner doesn’t come in your mouth, so is it realistic to have Crash think along those lines? Without giving a lecture to every new partner he has? (Because frankly, that doesn’t seem like his style either.)

Wondering about all of this has me derailed from my story. Should I go back in and throw a condom in the blow job? How much would he say about it? Does any of this matter–it is only a story, after all.

Also, in trawling safe sex sites, I see the experts are now recommending the use of plastic wrap as an alternative to a dental dam for cunnilingus and rimming. I dunno why I found that so surprising. It feels more fun and less clinical, that’s for sure.

I'm still working on the story. It's turning out to be an 8,000 word sex scene, which is maybe overkill, or maybe not. I guess length of sex scene is another whole post entirely. I think I'm leaning towards condoms for anal sex, everything else unprotected.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 23rd, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
I've completely pulled back from condoms for oral sex unless the characters are the sort to be really careful. I do sometimes toss in a line like: "This okay? I mean, I'll use one, dude, but only if you want me to."

Basically, it seems to be an acceptable risk scenario, and it's not my job to be a public service announcement. It's my job to entertain and write a good story that's true to the characters I'm presenting.


Mar. 23rd, 2008 11:03 am (UTC)
Thanks for helping me clarify my focus. I think my more experienced character knows he's clean and is OK with acceptable-risk type stuff. The less experienced character wouldn't even think to ask the other guy to put a condom on for a blow job.

I don't think I even need to give a nod to blowjobs with condoms. They just don't make sense in the context of the story.
Mar. 23rd, 2008 10:46 am (UTC)
I think it's perfectly realistic for him to do that, especially if he doesn't have sores in his mouth. If he does use a condom (seriously, the idea of going down on a stranger without one icks me out terribly, personally), he might not say anything. Some people can open the condom, pop it in their own mouths, and put it on orally, which I think is a tidy skill to have. Flavoured condoms are a good choice for that. Why say anything? He's giving head! The guy better like it or hike it.

In Uneven, which is contemporary, there's repeated instances of seriously unsafe sex and dangerous sex-play and I really bit my nails over that. I hate putting it in and yet that's how the characters are. They're both reckless. After the fact, they're both actually bothered by it, but in the moment, they're over the edge. I guess there's a time and a place for the author to be conscientious, and realism trumps 'correctness'.
Mar. 23rd, 2008 11:09 am (UTC)
I got a smile over the idea of my character being adept enough to put a condom on with is mouth! He's a fledgeling and it's his first blowjob, so it was fun to imagine that he'd planned ahead enough to practice. :D

The emotions you describe in Uneven seem really true to life. Plenty of people who should know better often do stuff in the heat of the moment that they realize later were stupid.
Mar. 23rd, 2008 11:14 am (UTC)
The whole planning ahead thing is just an adorable idea in and of itself. There's something painfully sweet and kind of sexy about someone who's looking forward to it so much that they PRACTICE. How damn cute is that? Hilarious. I could see him not using a condom his first time either and then maybe having some second thoughts about that one! *splutter*

I think it's dangerous to romanticise the 'out of control' thing, but when you have people afterward going 'shit, that should NOT have happened', it's not as bad. Worse, one of them, who intends to be responsible after the first time, blows it again later. Fortunately, that time, the other one has his head on straight. I think people DO make mistakes and get carried away, though, even really smart ones.
Mar. 23rd, 2008 11:19 am (UTC)
There's something painfully sweet and kind of sexy about someone who's looking forward to it so much that they PRACTICE.

There really is! I think the next newbie-story I write will touch on that. I think it would feed into the, "Oh yay! I'm having sex with a hot guy!" vibe.

I think people DO make mistakes and get carried away, though, even really smart ones.
Ahem. Yeah, that's what I tell myself. Though who knows, if I were still out sowing my wild oats, I'm sure I'd be a lot less carried away at 39 than I was at 25.

I love the idea that your guy blew it again the second time around. That's pretty true-to-life, too.
Mar. 25th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
depends on the characters - some of mine are careful, others not so much ... And Crash? he strikes me as the not-so-much kind of guy :D
Mar. 26th, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
I was pleased with what I finally came up with, which was that it was just not a big deal to Crash. (Also, the kid he's with is an impressionable young thing. Which is the only reason Crash feels the need to explain at all.)

“We’re not exchanging anything other than spit, got it? That’s why I didn’t shoot down your throat, back there in the kitchen. Well--that, and I was dying to come all over that face of yours.”
Mar. 26th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
oh - excellent solution!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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