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Crazy Frank's

In addition to the Pendarvis field trip I took last Thursday, I swung by Crazy Frank's on the way home. And since I had my camera, I'm sharing it with you! (Aren't you lucky? You know you are.)

Thousands of items just for peanuts! 14,000 sq. ft. of...I forget what. Bargains? Fun? Bewilderment? Definitely bewilderment.

The fun starts in the parking lot. In the other states I've lived, Illinois and New York, fireworks are illegal. Here in the hinterlands of Wisconsin, we don't care if you blow your damn fool self up. Here! Have some fireworks! So many they don't even fit in the store!

Inside the store...stuff. Lots and lots and lots of off-brand, old, plastic, slightly soiled stuff. Note the surveillance mirror in case you are tempted to shoplift that pack of dish scrubbers.

Basket of teddy bears and bunnies, anyone? Only 75¢

I've always had a soft spot for pudding in a can, as did my buddy on whom I based Stefan in Camp Hell. I probably should have put a quarter next to this thing for scale. It was friggin huge. However, it cost almost $5 and I only had $3. That's for the best, since that much canned pudding can't be good for you. And look, the hard boiled egg slicers behind it come in white or red!

Just when I thought the store was no weirder than any other junk store, I turned a corner and found the mattress and pants-on-a-table section. I then regarded the place with a newfound respect for its unique retail experience.

I was pleased to find they did at least have an exorcism section. Wow, that chili powder is cheap--I would have bought some, except at this point someone near the cash register started making popcorn, and my level of "WTF?" topped out. I grabbed a pack of 32 emery boards for 99¢ and headed back to the relative sanity of my own home.

Crazy Frank's...truth in advertising.



( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 6th, 2010 11:08 pm (UTC)
Hard boiled egg slicers are awesome. Mine's gray. ;) Mmmm Pudding...I probably would've charged the pudding on my card. ;)
Jul. 6th, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)
If I had done that, I know it would have been gone in one sitting ;-)
Jul. 6th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
Pudding in a can huh? That must be unique to Wisconsin. I've never seen that here or perhaps I've just blocked it out of my mind.

I want to know if Frank really exists and if he is indeed crazy.
Jul. 7th, 2010 12:36 am (UTC)
I think it's an institutional-foodservice type of delicacy.

I imagine there was a Frank. I assume he was crazy ;-)
Jul. 6th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
I love stores like that! I always end up buying odd stuff for my friends overseas ;o)
Jul. 7th, 2010 12:36 am (UTC)
I tried to spray some perfume and it befouled my spraying finger o_O
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:31 am (UTC)
Where do you think I find all those penguin items like instant penguin socks?
Though I was really referring to my friend in London who is almost as bad a cook as I am, so I always send her odd cooking utensils as a joke ;o)
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
The instant penguin socks were the best things ever. I still have and use them. Very warm.
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
I should have bought myself a pair, I'll have to keep an eye out for them
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 7th, 2010 12:37 am (UTC)
Embrace the can....
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:29 am (UTC)
We have shops like that everywhere here. Some more refined, some worse. Does Crazy Frank sell underwear? Bras and knickers? And men's sock and jocks?

I love those shops, except my partner often buys lots of stuff we 'really need' and never use. I tend to buy odd stuff for my friends overseas...

I would have eyed the pudding in a can skeptically and moved on, quickly.
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:33 am (UTC)
Hey! ;o)
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
I think she meant she buys stuff for her odd friends overseas :D
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:28 am (UTC)
That works, too. ;)
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:58 am (UTC)
I didn't notice any underwear! Cleaning supplies, kitchen things, office supplies, and a LOT of craft stuff. And of course the mattresses and fireworks.
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:27 am (UTC)
It's totally illegal to buy fireworks here and you certainly won't find them in a cheapie store. You can buy them, but only if you're having an event and then you have to fill out yards of paperwork and Heaven help you if you've had any sort of legal infringement. Mostly used by companies when sposoring things like football grand finals and what-not.

I have no idea how so many people manage to get hold of fireworks on New Year's Eve, but I'm sure there is a black market for them. One or two dodgy fireworks is a cause for celebration. The kids and I have sparklers.
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
There was a place like that near where i used to live. Being inside it made me itchy. I think it was purely psychological - it was just too crazy and it triggered my crazy and then scratch scratch scratch! But I couldn't stay away - it had the best stickers ever! I had one pack from their toy section that showed drawings of various disasters befalling houses. All simple black line drawings like on a warning sign but against a rainbow background. It had houses being hit by lightening, houses with trees falling on them, houses on fire. Added a bit of bling to my Christmas cards that year, let me tell you!
Jul. 7th, 2010 01:59 am (UTC)
Best. Stickers. Ever.

I forgot to mention they had AA batteries with disney princesses on them.
Jul. 7th, 2010 02:50 am (UTC)
Looks very crazy to me! I remember traveling across country when I was a kid and seeing a ton of Stuckey's. Do you happen to remember those? They specialized in the pecan role and had just about everything you'd need for your trip. They were always out in the middle of nowhere and were very fun. As a kid, I thought they were pretty awesome!
Jul. 7th, 2010 03:25 am (UTC)
I've never lived anywhere with a Stuckey's, I had to look it up. Looks like the Illinois locations are on the southern part of the state near Kentucky. I want one of those pecan rolls now. They look really good!
Jul. 7th, 2010 05:48 am (UTC)
This looks like the kind of place you have to use in a scene in a story sometime. And then people would think you totally made it up, because there can't really be a place like that.
Jul. 7th, 2010 12:43 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. Sometimes you have to tone down real life or else no one will believe you ;-)
Jul. 7th, 2010 06:34 am (UTC)
I can totally see Victor shopping for 'ritual' ingredients in a place like that. Hehehe.
Jul. 7th, 2010 12:42 pm (UTC)
Absolutely. They even have his favorite salt'n'pepper combo pack :D
Jul. 7th, 2010 03:36 pm (UTC)
I love weird stores like that!
Jul. 7th, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
I worry I'll buy something I don't actually need.
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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