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The bad side of spider amnesty

Yesterday I noticed a rather large, unappealing, long-legged spider on my kitchen island, and I thought, "I should probably put him outside. I'll do it after I eat." And of course later, he was gone.

Fast forward to tonight, my ex came over for beers and nachos, and I decided I should switch to soda so I didn't get too rowdy. We were playing cards and I took a drink and felt something weird in my mouth--and I thought it was a wad of cat hair, because it's spring, I did a lot of cleaning today, and cat hair wads are everywhere. So I spat it out and...well, you can guess who crawled into my soda to die. And then GET ON MY TONGUE.

So I flung it onto the couch and freaked out a while, pointed at it going, "Eeeeee...ptoo--ptoo-ptoo-ptooo!!!!" And my ex picked it off the couch and happily declared, "Wow, it was a big one!"

Seriously re-considering the spider amnesty if they're gonna be that way about it.

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( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
kerumica
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:59 am (UTC)
I think I just threw up in my mouth :( Got Listerine?
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh, that's right, then the ex said, "Do a shot!"
neyronrose
Apr. 10th, 2011 05:02 am (UTC)
I don't understand why you have a spider amnesty in the first place. If I see one, I either try to hit it with something heavy-ish or scream for Dad to kill it. Well, now that I've moved, screaming for Dad won't work as well. Mom screams and climbs on chairs too, so it's pretty obvious where I get it from.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 11:56 am (UTC)
I guess I feel bad killing a living thing if it's not necessary.
ali_wilde
Apr. 10th, 2011 05:09 am (UTC)
I'd have had a heart attack. Seriously. There is no such thing as a spider amnesty. If my partner isn't home, they get a can of bug spray emptied onto them while I happily chant, "Die, die..."

I still jump out of the way when they pathetically crawl across the floor using one leg and I can read their thought bubble, 'Help me...'
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 11:58 am (UTC)
I specifically said you SHOULDN'T read the LJ cut!
ali_wilde
Apr. 10th, 2011 01:45 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, I got here via Twitter which bought me straight under the cut. But honestly, when someone specifically tells one not to do something, one always does it.

Thank you for looking after me, even though it didn't work.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, Twitter! Duh.

Is that Criss Angel on your icon? We seem to have similar taste in mens.
ali_wilde
Apr. 10th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
I don't know, probably not. It was on an icon site and I liked the darkness of it. I do like him though, and Criss Angel. This user pic is definitely a favourite.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
That doesn't look like his nose, now that I look at it. He's PRETTY though!
ali_wilde
Apr. 10th, 2011 03:29 pm (UTC)
Who's pretty? The last user pic? Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance. I have a weakness for Goth/Emo boys with black hair. Though Gerard Way with orange hair leaves me weak, too.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)
*guh, ville*

Gerard is nice, but I'm particularly attached to the guy with the rose.
ali_wilde
Apr. 11th, 2011 07:49 am (UTC)
You may have him. The user pic was made by rainbowgraphics, so credit her. Or even friend her lj comm, she has some lovely user pics.
dysonrules
Apr. 10th, 2011 12:51 pm (UTC)
*dry heaves FOREVER*

D:
D:
D:
D:

jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:55 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I went "ptoo" all night.
josephine_myles
Apr. 10th, 2011 01:07 pm (UTC)
*Shudders* That's just gross! Little bastards - I never kill them myself but if they start doing things like that to me...

This is why I always drink out of a glass. Mind you, didn't help that night a beetle crawled into it and it was dark so I didn't spot it in time.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:55 pm (UTC)
It was a glass, but I'd had a few beers and wasn't really looking. Plus it was cola.
cdn_tam
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:02 pm (UTC)
Oh. My. God. Arrggghhhhh. That is why there is no amnesty in my house for anything with more than 4 legs and even some of those are looking at an early end. Ugh.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 02:57 pm (UTC)
I imagine the amnesty will continue for anything that's not venomous or infesty like ants or moths. But yuck. No gratitude.
egret17
Apr. 10th, 2011 03:49 pm (UTC)
I can completely sympathize. Some years ago, I got up, grabbed my glass of water from beside my bed, and wandered toward the kitchen as I took a drink. That horrible MOVING in my mouth! I spat whatever it was back into the glass and turned on a light... it was a millipede. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

And there was much brushing of teeth and tongue.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC)
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.

*flapping arms in dismay*

OOOOOOHHHHHHHH.

When I was in grammar school I was sleeping at my friend's house and we saw a millipede in the basement, and she said, "Watch, when we wake up, one of us will be wearing it like a mustache."

I've been haunted by that thought ever since.

Holy hell. At least my spider was dead.

I only drink from water bottles beside the bed, so no one gets the idea to stick their paws in there.
lou_harper
Apr. 10th, 2011 06:11 pm (UTC)
Haha! Think of it as protein. Personally, I'd rather have a spider in my soda than cat hair. Okay, best not to have either, but if I had to chose... Don't end the spider amnesty! I'm sure it was an aberration. And now with the weather getting better relocating them outdoors is an option.
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
Yeah, a big glob of hair in my mouth wouldn't have been welcome, either! Don't worry, I'm too much of a pushover to end the amnesty. I just like to complain.
deborak
Apr. 10th, 2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
Aww, poor little bastard didn't complete his mission of planting eggs in your tummy. I HOPE!

bwahahahaha!

(Hadn't talked to you in ages, so hi and all . . .)
jordan_c_price
Apr. 10th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
HAHAHA...I guess we'll see if I have baby spiders coming out of my mouth and nose. And maybe my butt.

(Hi to you too! Great to see you!)
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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